If I Could Turn Back Time

Don't you hate the moments in life where you wish you could turn back time? Back when I was in high school (20 years ago...how did THAT happen?), Cher had a song called If I Could Turn Back Time. Some of the lyrics are: I don't know why I did the things I did. I don't know why I said the things I said.

We all have regrets like this. But my biggest regrets come from the times when I DIDN'T say something. It's not something that happens to me often. Those of you who know me in "real life" know that I usually say what I gotta say. But sometimes, even opinionated, loud me can be silenced. By fear. By anger. By embarrasment. By looking at the wrong "big picture."

In becoming an adult, this was so hard for me. I WANT to be able to always speak out for the principles in which I believe. But when you have responsibilities, it's so hard! I can't always say what I want to say...fear of losing a job, offending a co-worker I have to see every day, or hurting someone else's feelings. But I do try.

When you have an autistic child, it's hard sometimes to speak up but it's not because of fear, but because of anger or shock. Last week, someone had some pretty ugly things to say to me about my child's behavior. A complete stranger. Instead of tearing her tail up, I walked away. It's not me. It's not in me to walk away. But my gut was screaming, "GET NOVA AWAY FROM THIS PERSON." I do NOT want my daughter around negativity. But I hurt that I did not stand up to this woman.

I try to remind myself that it wouldn't have changed her opinion or her behavior. I try to remind myself that mean people have been hurt. But it's so hard! We've all been hurt. But it's up to US to treat others with respect.

Wednesday means Grab a Good Book!

This year, I taught a new book to my tenth graders. It's called The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time by Mark Haddon. Now, let me tell you. When teaching a novel to high school sophomores means I have to use all my tricks. Overall, teens groan when you mention you're about to start a new novel. In a world where they can tweet and change their FB status within seconds, committing to the time it takes to read a novel seems absolutely insane to them. You have to really "hook" them.

Overall, though, with this book....I didn't have to "hook" too much. It was amazing! The first thing we did before beginning to read, was I chose ten words from the first ten pages, and listed them on the whiteboard. They had to predict what they thought the first ten pages would be about, based on those words. We shared with our peers what we thought. Then we read those pages and talked about our predictions compared to what actually was written. It was fun. We had a good laugh or two. The kids were INTO it. The book did that from the beginning.

It's a great story about a boy with Asperger's who finds a murdered dog in his neighborhood and decides to play detective to find out who killed the dog. His journey, though, leads him to discover some incredibly powerful secrets about himself. Everyone should read it!

Summer Blues

Lord have mercy, summer is tough when your child has autism!! The first week out of school, Nova really had a hard time. Less structure, mommy (a teacher) is exhausted, trying to find our way. Then week two, mini-vaca with grandma and mommy, which again, means different routine. Hotel rooms. Restaurants. Excitement over new experiences. All things Nova needs. All things a melt down waiting to happen.

Overall, she did great. Overall, my patience held out. (with a few hits of nicoutine outside the hotel---something I'm not proud of). Sure helped having grandma there! Crayons and work books, fave toys all made it okay.

So let's talk about it....what things help you when routines are broken???

Great Day at Preschool (for Mom)

Today I decided to go to work a little late and take Nova to preschool. My husband always does this. I wanted to see how things were. After all, it's my baby we're talking about. As a parent of an autistic child, my biggest worry is that Nova won't have friends. It's a fear that tears at my gut and brings me to sobbing fits when I think about it too much. I know many things about being on the spectrum could make other children wary of Nova. She doesn't always understand directions, she doesn't always understand that something isn't hers, she doesn't communicate well, etc.

Today though...man was I happy. We got there a bit early (20 minutes, and I'm pretty sure the teacher wasn't happy). Nova went to her hook to put her backpack and jacket. What??? She already has that down? I was elated.

Then it got better. She "signed in." She went to her picture on the wall and found her daily schedule. She took the first picture from the schedule and knew it meant for her to go to a certain center. She went there and did the activity. My baby??!!

I was so flippin' proud. She was following directions and totally getting communication. The activity was a hands on puzzle type of activity, which she loves, and she was totally engrossed. She got done and looked at everyone like, "Aren't you going to tell me how well I did?" It was SO GREAT!