Guilt is a huge drag. What is it that makes women (especially moms) feel so guilty all the time? Today I took a day off work. I'm super sick. I have this huge hole in my ear drum and I have to see a specialist. Had to do the CAT scan thing today. The kind where they inject you full of "contrast" (in my terms...dye). I'm one sick chick. And I don't mean sick like perverted ;)
But all day (well, the hours I was awake) I felt horrible about missing work. Never mind that I'll go back to a nightmare--having a sub. teacher is never easy. But all day, I kept thinking, "People will see me out. They will think, 'Oh she's skipping work.'"
Part of that is teaching in a small town. People really do call the superintendent if they see you in town when you should be working. Apparently, we're not allowed to be sick or take a mental health day, in the eyes of the community.
But part of it is just the guilt I put upon myself. I feel guilty that my kid is playing in a living room that is covered in toys and needs vacuumed. I feel guilty that I have to work instead of take care of my daughter. I feel guilty that I get sick. I feel guilty that I can't get everything done that is "expected" of me.
What is that? Tell me, folks. What do YOU feel guilty about? Maybe we'll all feel better if we just get it out there!
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