Deep breaths. You are not an angry person. You don't really want to hit this woman, even though you picturing it over and over in your mind, kind of like on that show Ally McBeal when Ally would see things happen that weren't.
What's causing this distress, you ask? You all know someone like her. The BRAGGART. OH MY GOD! Shut up! I don't care that your daughter is a math genius. I highly doubt you're a member of MENSA (and who cares, I can send a check and take the test too--what's that prove?), and I doubt that neither of your precious daughters ever drank, smoked, or had sex in high school!
I know, I sound petty...but please, oh lord please. Let's all learn a lesson from this woman! I love my daughter, you know I do. But if I ever get the holier than though tone when talking about her--you all have my permission to let me know.
That's not to say that we can't brag on our kids some--it's normal and exciting to talk about how our kids are learning and growing. But I live in the REAL WORLD, where kids make mistakes, make messes, and fall in love when they're 16 and do things we wish they wouldn't. (which reminds me...we teach no protection sex ed at this school I work in--let's put pools in all of our yards, but tell our kids we won't teach them to swim safely).
OK, I think I've at least replaced the image of me pummeling this woman to death out of my mind. Well....I can't help it if it's replaced by the image of her in that pool, naked, with all the neighbors pointing and laughing.