Sunday, July 20, 2008

The Potty Problem

I knew I wouldn't get to post in the morning, as I have to make the bar deposit, work out (yup, been going daily for a week now...can you BELIEVE IT???), take and pick up daughter from preschool and then go into work from 2:30 pm til 2 am.

But something's been really getting to me...the potty problem. My daughter is not yet potty trained. And this is not for lack of trying. We sit her on the chair and "key potty" times, we let her run around naked and then try to throw her on the chair when she starts to pee. (This hasn't worked so far, by the way. I swear she waits to pee when I've got my hands full of laundry or when I'm loading the dishwasher). I've read the books to her while sitting her on the potty.

She doesn't get it.

Our autism team (as I refer to our AEA reps that help my daughter--and who I must say are awesome and have helped us a lot) says to keep reading the book to her. Ummmm. Yeah. Not so much. I don't know about you parents with autistic children, but my daughter has NEVER sat long enough for me to read to her. We have yet to get into page three of a book. She would rather point to things and have me tell her what they are. So the book...well...doesn't really work for us.

I'm scared she'll never get it. Even in preschool, I hate that she has to wear a diaper. She's already different enough from the other kids. I don't want more reasons for kids to shun her. (As a parent, my biggest fear is that she won't have friends). So what to do???

We even went and bought the fancy potty. It sings when you pee and says "up" and "down" when you lift and shut the lid. Very high tech potty here. Yeah. So...umm..she'd rather lift the lid up and down than sit on it. I don't know what else to try.

Then there are those rude people who chastise me for having her in diapers. I'm talking strangers here. It's happened at the lake and at the grocery store. I get so upset. And I'm not proud of this, but sometimes I wonder if I'm more upset that they're saying something bad about my daughter or that they're criticizing my parenting skills. Ugh! Help!

This is a cry out to all parents! Give me your tips! Please!


Dorian & Monte said...

I have only one patient. When she's ready, it'll happen. It's the same logic I used with Marcus and my other 2 kids. You just can't rush them. Marcus was almost 5 before we dared leave the house without a diaper on, and it was at least another 1 1/2 years before he went to bed and stayed dry.

I know the comments from strangers can be upsetting and sometimes downright angry. Let me see if I can think of some good comebacks for ou. I can't remember mine. lol

groovyteach said...

that does make me feel better. i didn't know if it was common with autistic kids to potty train later or not. also, i hear ya. i can usually snap out with a good comeback but sometimes i'm so shocked that i'm dumbstruck.

pjmomof3boys said...

Okay, first of all, who are these strangers telling you what you should be doing with your daughter? Anyone who would be so incredibly rude and insensitive should not be taken seriously. Next time someone says something like that to you, picture that person wearing a diaper! Then laugh in his/her face!

Next, I hear you. I don't have a child with autism, however, we have our fair share of "potty problems." My 6-year-old has incopresis, which means he gets really constipated and then has accidents. It's so frustrating to try to regulate that. And I have a feeling my soon-to-be 4-year-old has the same problem. We thought he was potty trained but he's back in Pull-Ups because he keeps having accidents. It's so frustrating, but just know that you're NOT the only one, and she will get it. Don't let other people get you down. Your daughter is a completely unique individual--there is only one of her in the entire world and there will only ever BE one of her--and she is not required to conform to some stranger's idea of a potty training timetable! Just take a deep breath and love on her. They really do grow up so fast! :)

Anonymous said...

Oh hon dont let it get to you. I know it does but alot of people dont understand that our kids think along a whole different level.
My son's doctor told me to get this book : Toilet Training for Individuals with Autism and Related Disorders by: Maria Wheeler
It's been a good help. My almost 6 year old is no where near getting potty trained but he's working on it and at least going in the potty somewhat.
Dont let the comments upset you... it happens and just realize that they're made by ignorant people.

groovyteach said...

oh bless all your hearts. i feel so much better. mind you, i bawled when i read them ;) but i really do feel better! thanks to all of you for being so supportive.

Anonymous said...

It's always nice to know that people know how we feel. *hugs* glad we could help!